Day 21

I hate them.
In seventh grade,
not telling me they were sick-
with cancer,
with heart disease-
seemed kind of okay
though it was uncomfortable
and awkward to hear about it
from other people's parents
and maybe I kind of forgave them for that
because they always did treat me like too young
for my age.
But now
I'm twenty, an adult
I'm graduating next year, but
when my dad got sick
they didn't tell me
until after he was "fine"

What if he wasn't fine?
Would they just send me an email
in the same format:
oh, can't wait 'till your home for
Thanksgiving
We'll have Turkey and Duck and Chicken
You can do the
Cranberries
Like you always do
and make the
Pumpkin pies
from scratch
What time's your flight?
Oh by the way
you're father's just out of the hospital (Another heart attack?)
Everything's fine now (what if things hadn't turned out fine?)
Tell you when you come home ("I don't want to talk about it")


Still, I guess it was nice of them to tell me
I could've gone home
and never even known
though that would have made Thanksgiving with the family awkward
without forewarning
"So how's your father (heard he was in the hospital)?"
"Good. . .(should I know something I don't?)"
"Hope he gets well soon (shit he didn't know)!"