Day 17

There was no resolution.

Everything feels hurtful to me
Really, I should be proud
Look at all she's obtained
my significant other
but at the same time
deep down,
I ache
because she finally achieved
my dream. . .
the one I've been working for
for the past three years. Working hard.
And it all shattered to pieces last summer
and I know its really selfish of me
really mean and cruel
to be upset
when she gets accepted
to that one thing I've sought to be accepted into
since I was a freshman.

I shouldn't be so jealous
its cruel of me to wish for things
I know I don't deserve
because I'm not good enough
at anything
to be recognized by anyone else.
and even when I do something
I'm proud of, that's amazing
its pushed aside
like something irrelevant
because it doesn't interest someone else.

I know its not fair of me to be upset.
But she's made her own dreams come true
and now she's living mine
and I am left with a broken heart
that nobody wants to hear about
nobody to talk to
nothing to be proud of
because I
like everything I do
am worthless
and irrelevant.